Whack-A-Mole

or, "I'm tired of Making Emma Cry" 

I have cancer again. 

I have cancer again. 

I have cancer again. 

I just had cancer. I had surgery in October 2013. When I told Emma about this in October, she cried a bit, looked me in the eye and stated, "You deserve to be done with this." I couldn't agree more. I am tired of having cancer. Yet, I have cancer again.

My CT scan revealed some vague areas. I hate vague. The docs recommended that I get an MRI scheduled up. I picked a place that has great imaging equipment and laid in the tube for a bit, listening to the thumps, buzzes and whirs. I didn't expect a call the next day since I the MRI was at 8 o'clock at night. However, my doctor called by 10 AM the next day and once again had to tell me that I have cancer.

I don't have just a little, either.  We're looking at multiple areas that need to be addressed.   

He made sure that I had his cell phone number if I needed to talk. I thought to myself, "Wow, that's pretty cool that I have all of my doctors' cell numbers." Then I realized, "Oh, shit. I have all of my doctors' cell phone numbers."

We have a plan. I am working with some new specialists and will get a second opinion, just in case. But time is of the essence. These new anomalies weren't there in October.  They are here now, attacking me. I can actually feel it.

I can't say that I am not disappointed. It was a very difficult day.

I ended the phone call with a simple command, "Let's Rock!" My doctor replied, "Mr. Callaghan, I knew you'd say that."

It took me two days to work up the courage to have the talk with my daughter.  I kept praying that she'd have a question about sex that she'd ask before I got to the cancer part. Sadly, I didn't get to go into my spiel about human reproduction. Instead, I had to tell her that I have cancer again.  I held her tight, so that I couldn't see if she was crying. My voice wavered a little, but I managed to start talking about Chuck E. Cheese and the Whack-A-Mole game. I explained that my cancer might keep popping up from time to time, and we'd just whack it back down, like the mole.

She paused, and said, "But you can't win Whack-A-Mole. You're going to win this." God Bless that child.

And God Bless my wife, Lissa. I don't mention her often as she prefers to stay out of the limelight. I apologized to her the other day. I hugged her tightly and said, "I'm sorry, you didn't sign up for this." She replied, "Yes I did. It was in the vows." God Bless my wife.

Tomorrow I am going to get up and do what I know how to do. I am going to pack a lunch. I am going to write a Napkin Note. I am going to connect with my daughter.

Pack. Write. Connect.

What will you be doing?

Bacta Tank

I received a wonderful gift from a Facebook fan. My second step in my cancer journey was to create some semblance of control.  I wore a Star Wars shirt to my next medical appointment and informed the doctor that I would always wear this type of shirt on every visit.  I hoped it would differentiate me from the other thousands of patients coming through the doors.  Two and a half years later, I haven't broken that promise. I gave my doctor a Star Wars Medical Droid action figure and boldly stated, “This is the guy who saves the heroes.  It’s your job to save me.” 

I was chatting on the Napkin Notes Facebook page and one dear friend was commenting about using the Force, and I offhandedly mentioned that I could really use a Bacta Tank. The tank was filled with a liquid which promoted healing and the patient was fully submerged for a period of time.  

My Bacta Tank

I received this in the mail the other day.  I cannot begin to explain the hope, joy, and thankfulness that I felt as I opened the package.  My heart still swells when I think of this act of kindness. 

May the Force Be With You, Tigga Reese. 

Napkin Notes: Weekend To Do List

Napkin Note: Giving Emma an idea of the things we have to do this weekend! We need this time together as a family.

What are you doing this weekend with your family?

Pack. Write. Connect.

Napkin Note Field Trip Edition

Emma has a field trip today. I packed two snacks. One snack is for her, and the other is to share with her seatmate.

Of course, I packed two Napkin Notes, too! I hope they like them!

Pack. Write. Connect.

Napkin Note: Ready, Fire, Aim!

What’s stopping you? That’s not the problem. Skip it!

Pack. Write. Connect.