And just like that …

I had had 24 cycles of Nivolumab Immunotherapy from August 2018 through June 2020. That treatment worked! All of the tumors that I had practically disappeared. The treatment was, you know, somewhat easy. Easy. I almost felt guilty that I didn't have horrible side effects and that my tumors were disappearing! My brain tumor was shrinking! The tumors around my remaining kidney were stable or smaller. The seven tumors in my lungs were gone! There was a hope that this treatment would be sustainable, even without the infusions.

It worked, until it didn't.

Gradually, until suddenly.

I needed to find another treatment. There weren't many choices left. I also needed to wait a little bit and rebuild my strength. I had had pneumonia and a pulmonary embolism back to back. I spent more time in the hospital that fall than any other time during my entire cancer ordeal. I needed some time to rebuild my strength and stamina before I chose any treatment program.

My oncologist presented a handful of options, one of the options was an experimental medical treatment. It seemed promising. And after a multitude of labs and scans and testing, I was accepted.

I started a medical study on December 1, 2020. I was taking XmAb®20717. It was very promising.

It was also a very difficult treatment. I purposely walked about 5 miles around the University of Virginia Campus after the first infusion. I wanted to prove to myself that I was up to the challenge. I had two more infusions, on Dec 16 & 30. Somewhere in that timeframe everything went upside down.

I developed pancreatitis but didn't know what was happening.

In early January my pancreas stopped producing insulin. I was incredibly sick but didn't know why. I called the emergency Oncology line. They recommend pushing fluids, especially Gatorade.

I didn't get out of bed for the entire weekend. However, there was a plan. I was going to go to the oncologist Monday morning. I never made it.

I woke up Monday morning, delirious. I genuinely don't remember much of that morning. Everything was difficult. I knew that I needed to take a shower so I could leave the house. But I wasn't sure how I could manage taking a shower by myself. I stood in the bathroom, dumbfounded. I had been throwing up for so long and had very low brain activity. I could not process anything.

I fell unconscious on my bedroom floor. I don't really remember that.

Emma was still home for Christmas break. She heard me hit the floor. She came to my aide. I don't really remember much of the next moments. Suddenly Lissa appeared. I was pretty sure that she had gone to work… and then there were paramedics above me.

I drifted in and out of consciousness. I remember being in the ambulance, but I have no idea what happened. I remember the ambulance arriving at the hospital and thinking how incredibly cold it was when the ambulance opened the back doors and was waiting for the hospital to receive me.

The paramedics tested my glucose and it was 1100 mg/Dl.

I spent the next 2 days in the ER and ICU. I think I was mostly unconscious, but I remember snippets.

I was transferred to the pediatric unit, because that's where new Type-1 diabetics go I guess. I wasn't in good shape. I was critically ill, but didn't even know how to process how bad the situation was.

Lissa and Emma had to fake the system out so that they could both visit me. It was the height of covid. I don't remember much about my hospital stay. My brain was in really bad shape with all of the extra glucose that was in my body. Emma came in and played chess with me. She soundly beat me. I felt like I was experiencing “A Beautiful Mind.” I kept seeing moves that weren't really there. I lost. It was a horrible game, but I can't remember any of the details of it anyway.

I was in the hospital for a week. I've been in the hospital a lot during my cancer issue. This hospital stay was the worst. I had no idea what was happening. I understood that I was suddenly a Type-1 diabetic. But the hospital's job was to keep me alive, not to make me the best Type-1 diabetic I could be.

And just like that, I became insulin dependent. On top of having metastatic kidney cancer. On top of being adrenal insufficient due to metastatic kidney cancer.

There's something darkly poetic about being admitted to the hospital on January 11th, the anniversary of the first time insulin was used to treat someone with Type-1 diabetes.

So, there you have it. I've been pretty silent on social media and now you know why. I have so many critical health issues that I just couldn't continue to keep up my social media presence. Even on my healthy days where I actually feel mostly human, posting here just reminds me how hard my health concerns really are.

And just like that, there's another insulin shot.